Wow! It’s been a really long time since I’ve updated. Sorry! That probably means this will be a long post. I will try my best to be as concise as possible. I will start with the overall updates first.
Things have been going really well at the Lerato House (the shelter for girls). There have been three new girls added within the past 2 weeks so they number is up to 14. Laura and I go every Monday and Thursday now. Monday is devoted to devotionals/Bible study as well as hanging out, and Thursdays are just for hanging out. It’s been great getting to know the girls more and more and to see them become more comfortable with us. We have been trying to get some one-on-one time with different girls because we feel like that is when growth will happen. It’s hard to really connect with them when everyone is around…especially since they end up speaking in their languages about 90% of the time. We have also gotten to know more about their histories and why some of them have come to live there. Some of it is really tough stuff! I don’t know how some of them keep going! It’s amazing to me and a huge testament of their strength…and God’s strength working through them. I know He is with them and has brought each of them to the Lerato House for a reason. I truly feel so blessed and privileged to get to spend time with them each week. Prayer request: that the barriers of language, culture, differences in backgrounds (specifically their difficult backgrounds) wouldn’t actually be barriers.
Monday, June 16 the apprentices were in charge of hosting a Braai (bbq) in a nearby park. This was a nation-wide holiday (Youth Day) so most people had off from work and the kids were off from school. The event was to go along with our Inviting Posture. All of us, including staff, invited guests to come hang out with us, play soccer, and enjoy yummy food! It was a huge success and we had lots of fun…I think about 70 people were there! Laura and I went to pick up our girls to come hang out. I think they really enjoyed getting away from the house for the day…as they usually just laze around the house when they have days off. Below was going to be a picture from the day of me, Laura and the girls…but the internet was acting up. Sorry! (See the other link that I sent out.)
I am starting to feel like the door to get involved in the activist side of the anti-trafficking movement may be closing. I have yet to meet again with the lady at the Tshwane Leadership Foundation. I also had a meeting set up with someone else this past Tuesday and it fell through. We have set another meeting for next Tuesday so we’ll see. If it doesn’t pan out from there then I am going to stop pursuing it at this time. I don’t think it’s a closed door forever…just for this time. There are so many things we are responsible for here each day, and I don’t want to spread myself too thin. Volunteering at the Lerato House, spending time with my community, working through any assignments I have from “class”, and spending time with God keeps me pretty busy.
This past weekend we hosted a Taste and See for our NieuCommunities site. There are many people we are connected with here, and they are always asking, “So, what do you do?” There are also those that are asking, “How can we do ‘church’ differently?” It was a really great weekend. We gave people a small glimpse into what we do here, and we had some great conversations about how we can be the church in
I guess what’s left is the personal part to the update. It’s been an interesting time for me the past month or so. I went through a time of doubting and questioning lately…of my faith, my place here, my purpose. It was really tough. I am here to serve God, be with God, learn more about God (while living in community and serving others), but I didn’t feel like doing any of that. I wasn’t sure where it came from either. I was left to search and question and try to get back to where I had been before…in love with God and running full force after Him. I wasn’t sure how to get there though. I just kind of sat in the feelings for a while. I truly didn’t know which direction to walk and I wasn’t sure I wanted to move. It was interesting though because in all my doubting and questioning I would still go to God. I knew He was there…I knew He always would be. I could never even begin to deny Him. I just really wanted to feel His presence…I wanted to feel excited about my faith again.
When the doubts first started happening, I somehow knew it was just going to be for a time. I knew when I got to the other side of it that I would be chasing after God in a new way again, and I looked forward to that! I had been in valleys before, but they still stink. They are still never where you want to be…even if you know you will learn great things from them in the end. Two weekends ago we went on a retreat. It was a great time for me. I was finally ready (and knew it would probably happen that weekend) to get back on track with God; to start seeking Him again.
On the retreat, I read a book about the Trinity called “The Great Dance”. It was actually life changing for me. It opened my eyes to how the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit interact and how we have been invited into that their circle…into their dance. The Trinity is all about fellowship, and by Jesus coming to Earth and becoming fully human, we were allowed to be apart of that. It’s really beautiful. I realized more and more (as I have been realizing here the past 5 months) that being a Christian is all about fellowship. Jesus came and spent time with people…ate with them…cried with them…laughed with them…stayed with them. It’s such a small gesture sometimes, but it can be the most important one as well. God wants me (my fellowship) and he also wants me to fellowship with those around me…family, friends, insiders, outsiders, widows, poor, orphans, everyone! God is a God of relationships. I had realized throughout my time of questioning that I was in mind game with God. I was trying to reason Him out in my head, try to figure Him out, and have all my questions answered. I knew I was headed down the wrong path with that, but I didn’t know how to stop it. I am so glad to be back on the path of fellowship with God…which is right where He wants me. Cheesy…I know…but I am glad to be apart of The Great Dance.
I have been reading a ton in the Old Testament which has been helping a great deal as well. It has been good to get back to God…back to how it all began. At times the Old Testament can seem daunting and overwhelming to read. A friend of mine here and I are really challenging each other to be intentional with our Old Testament reading. It has been great! I encourage you to dive into it! There is some good stuff in there…and some comical stuff as well.
Well…there it is! The super long update. I hope it wasn’t too confusing! It has been hard to get all these thoughts down and try to make them clear. I have actually been working on this post for a few days. I will leave you with a quote by a well-liked author around our house…Pete Rollins. It says in a nutshell why I love this community I live in!
“In contrast to the view that evangelism is that which gives an answer for those who are asking, we must have faith to believe that those who seek will find for themselves. If this is true, then the job of the Church is not to provide an answer…but rather to help encourage the religious questions to arise…One of the roles of the Church is provide a sacred place for this exploration.” (Peter Rollins, “How (Not) to Speak of God, pg. 40-41)
Much LOVE!
manda
